What’s Next? – June, 2023

What’s Next?

“The world is going downhill, Joe.  I feel bad about it but our generation was the last one to have it good.  It all seems to be falling apart just as you are growing up.  Sorry for that.”

I was ten years old when my grandpa took me aside and shared his rosy outlook for the world.  Since then, I found out that gramps was not alone in wanting to give me bad advice about what to expect in life.  When I turned 21, I was told to, “Enjoy it while you can–it won’t get any better.”  This was followed by, “Your best years are all behind you,” when I hit 40.  And finally, the extremely helpful, “It’s all downhill from here,” when I reached 50.

Life would be so much easier if the previous generation could provide a semi-accurate picture about what’s around the bend.  This idea resurfaced last week while listening to my daughter talk about the high school students she serves as school counselor.  Many of these kids come from unstable homes and have shaky friendships at school.  They struggle with their identities and are fearful about the future.  What really awaits these kids whose lives already are so hard?  How can Amy encourage them about what’s next in life?

Human beings perform at their best with a clear sense of expectations.  The second time I ran the Chicago Marathon I found it infinitely easier than the first because I knew exactly what running the race entailed.  The only question was whether my body would cooperate with what I was asking it to do.  The onlookers encouraged us.  The miles were clearly marked.  The aid stations were properly spaced.  I just had to do my part.

What would our lives be like if the aid stations were clearly marked and we knew how many miles we had to go?  How would we run differently?

Can you imagine how often Jesus’s friends must have bugged him to find out what was next?  This is speculation but fishermen were used to schedules and routines.  The uncertainty of life with Jesus had to be difficult for them. They would have asked about him mundane things like schedules along with esoteric ones like what God was like.  It was a hard journey for them and so getting help framing expectations would have been perfectly natural.

Jesus encouraged them to live in the moment, since now had plenty to offer them in challenges and wonder.  He told a lot of stories to explain what his father was like.  And then, when they still wanted more, he told them that when they were looking at him, they were seeing the father.  And in some way, this would satisfy their need to know what was next.  “Look at me,” he said.  “I’ve been there.  With me, the future will be hard.  But unspeakably good.”

I’m not sure how different it is from looking into the eyes of someone you trust, knowing that the clue to the riddle you are struggling with is written on their face.  The face of my 91-year-old counselor friend has answered several riddles of mine in the past year.  When I told him how much I was enjoying this season of life, he smiled and said, “And it just keeps getting better.”  I knew that his life had not been easy so I was surprised by his comments.  When I looked into his eyes, I could see truth reflected there.  His life was still on a positive trajectory.  It was hard.  But it was also really good.

Knowing the kindness and diligence of my daughter-turned-counselor, I know how she agonizes about having the right thing to say to kids who are struggling with life and what is next for them.  But maybe they are coming into her office to feel her love and be in her warm presence.  Words in those situations can be cheap.  The direction they seek might come from the comfort of being with her and the look in her eyes.

We do well when we get clues from others about what is next.  Let’s aggressively seek out those clues about what’s next, and hand them out to others as they are made known to us.  Hopefully, our eyes will validate the words we speak.

I agree with my friend that challenges notwithstanding, it keeps getting better.  Sorry Gramps.